Here are some [very] random thoughts on the eve of my 30th birthday. (Which has unfortunately been approaching like a freight train now for the past 364 days.)
*Some people say that it is neat to turn 30 because you get to check a new “age group” box when filling out paperwork. I say hogwash. It’s just another reminder that you have left your 20’s behind and are now on the path to 40.
*Another reason 30 stinks is because of the realization that I am now closer to the age of 40 than I am to my high school graduation.
*I am leaving behind the most memorable decade of my life. While in my 20’s, I moved out of my parents house, I got married, I bought my first car, I bought my first house, I had my first child. I really don’t see the next 10 years beating that.
*So I’ve been watching the winter Olympics. It seems like there are only 5 or 6 winter Olympic sports but somehow they manage to draw it out for two weeks and still have something different on every night. Somewhat impressive.
*I’m struggling with the concept of Batman as a superhero. After all, superhero’s generally have powers don’t they? All Batman has is gadgets. Wouldn’t that make him more of a crime fighter? Why does he get grouped with Superhero’s?
*One of the local high schools mascots are the Smoky Bears. When their female teams play, they are referred to as the “Bearettes.” I hate this. Why not just be the Lady Bears…there is no such thing as “Bearette”. I hate terms like this. Call it what it is. You don’t see a news story about a person getting attacked by a Bearette do you? No, that would be gay. It should be “mamma bears” at worst, but I would just say to use the term Lady Bears.
*A Wal-Mart store in California has now begun charging its customers for plastic bags, in an effort to reduce the “global impact” they have. Hell no. If that idea spreads, I’ll be shopping elsewhere. Currently, a small bag will cost the customer .15 per bag, with a large bag costing .50 per. “Customers are encouraged to either bring their own bags, or purchase the recycled canvas bags that the store sells to environmentally conscious customers.” Again, Hell no.
*Pigeon Forge is getting ready to open up a Titanic Museum. The building is actually built to look like a smaller replica of the Titanic. It’s been announced that the “master of ceremonies” for the big opening event will be Regis Philbin. My thought? Regis must be hard pressed to come open a museum in Pigeon Forge that is probably doomed to failure like every other museum and theatre in the town that opens one year and closes the next. My thought is that if the museum closes, which I’m sure it will after a year or two, wouldn’t you think it would be hard to rent out a building that looks like a Titanic? You just wonder…
*Here’s a thought on what Hardees could do to improve their business: Since their “mascot” is a star (now seen on the side of the buildings almost everywhere these days), they should start selling star shaped hamburgers on star shaped buns. Now that would get people talking and would be a good way to bring in more customers. After all, they’ve been making their chicken strips into shapes for years. The burgers would be the natural progression. You know, on second thought…never mind. I still wouldn’t eat there.
*Why is it when they remake an 80’s or 70’s TV show, it always stinks? (See Bionic Woman, Knight Rider, etc) Same goes for when they take an old TV show and make it into a movie. I think I know why the movies don’t work…they are trying to make a 2 hour movie from a plot that is made for serial television and that doesn’t work because a weekly show gives us time to get to know the characters and get to like them, and learn what the show is about. In a movie, you don’t get that. As far as TV show remakes though, the problem usually, is that they make wholesale changes that are unnecessary. (See Knight Rider) Also, they seem to always have a habit of using some of the worst actors on the market (See Knight Rider). Until they can get all that stuff right, I’m afraid we’ll get much of the same, which is disappointing because I hear there is a Magnum P.I. movie coming down the pike…
*I think the fire lane at the grocery store, should have spike strips that only retract when an actual fire truck or other emergency vehicle needs to use the lane for an emergency. Every time I go to the store, cars are lined bumper to bumper from one end of the store to the other using the fire lane. I’ve always said that if I was a cop, I’d spend one day per week doing nothing but going around to the grocery stores and ticketing every single person who is parked in the fire lane. No excuse. I would love to see a fire truck plow them over one day trying to park for an emergency. Actually, I’d pay to see that.
*I’ve now been a dad for almost 5 months. I used to think that I wanted at least one boy and one girl, but I’m going to be honest with you, after having a boy for 5 months, I think I’d rather just have boys. Strange…either way, being a daddy is unlike anything in the world. Hard work, yes, but extremely rewarding. I am blessed.
*I haven’t blogged in a long while. This feels good. I really do need to do it more. (Blog…;)
Friday, February 19, 2010
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Making life a little easier...
It's almost time for my little one to arrive...his due date is September 30, but I'm pretty sure we'll have him a little sooner based on his current size (almost 8lbs). With that in mind, I decided to put together a little list of things that will help him, (and ultimately you all) get through life a little easier. Some words of wisdom if you will...enjoy!!
**Mow against the grain. I promise…it’ll look better that way.
**When going for a cold drink, keep this in mind…canned drinks on average are 3 degrees colder than bottled drinks.
**Don’t step in the shower with your socks on…it’s just ruin your day.
**If you are watching a drive in movie in a truck, bring along a chair…the ruts in your truck bed will leave you sore for a week.
**If you are watching a drive in movie in a car, clean your windshield first. That onscreen kiss will look a lot better without a dead fly smeared all over the actors faces.
**Diet Dr. Pepper does not taste anything like regular Dr. Pepper, so leave it on the shelf. You’ll be much happier with yourself if you do.
**Always keep your receipts. The one time you will throw away a receipt will be the one time you need to return something.
**Research big ticket items before you buy them. You can learn a lot from product reviews by customers and professionals, and in the end, it’ll be worth it as you will have an item you are happy with.
**If it’s just you eating supper alone, you probably don’t need the large pizza “just in case”. You could do with the medium and still have some left over for tomorrow.
**No matter where you are at, always try to find a good isle seat. It’ll save you lots of trouble and you will not make nearly as many people mad if you have to get up and “excuse yourself” in the middle of the game, show or sermon.
**If you are going to talk on the phone in public, just use the phone, not the earpiece. It makes you look like a doof who talks to invisible people and belongs in an asylum. With restraints. Just trying to help you out here.
**If you are quite sure that a person doesn’t know what they are talking about, don’t argue with them or try to correct them. It’ll only make it worse. Just say “uh huh” and move on.
**Knock before opening a closed door. Especially if it’s a bathroom door.
**Always make sure you have enough gas to get you where you are going. If you don’t have enough, don’t go. The side of the road is not a fun place to be. Especially after dark.
**Don’t drink Mountain Dew right before you go to bed.
**If you go to rent a movie, don’t rent one you’ve never heard of. There are reasons you’ve never heard of those movies.
**The shortest lane at the grocery store will not always be the one to get you out the quickest.
**Never be the first person to volunteer in a group. You’ll only wind up with embarrassment.
**When deciding on a movie to watch, you can never, ever go wrong with a Die Hard movie.
**Never put your socks on in the dark. It doesn’t matter if they are both white. They will still end up not matching and being two different colors when you get to work.
**As old as the saying is, it is still true…nothing in life is free. Ever.
**If it’s too good to be true, it probably is. Move forward with extreme caution. You are more than likely about to get ripped off.
**An empty mailbox is a good mailbox.
**If you have a favorite shirt, don’t dry it in the dryer. Let it hang dry, otherwise your favorite shirt will shrink and have trouble fitting a midget. If you are looking for baby clothes however…
**Don't buy anything being sold over the phone.
**If you want to take a girl to a picnic on a date, make sure you don't take along food that needs cooked. (First hand experience there)
**Don't worry about the umbrella...it's much more fun to play in the rain, no matter how old you are.
**Don't go through the express lane if you have more than 15 items. If you do, everyone at the store will hate you. Even if they don't see you do it, they will know. Somehow. And hate you all the same.
**Let faster golfers play through. (If your like me, you'll have to)
**Don't go to the store on the 1st or the 15th of the month. Ever.
**Furthermore, don't go to the store until at least a month after Christmas. Those people are brutal.
**Speaking of Christmas, if you are looking for a Christmas movie to watch, you can never go wrong with Clark Griswold or Ralphie Parker.
**I'm leaving this space blank for anything else I might think of.
There you have it!! I've spent all day coming up with these "Philipisms" so jot them down, and remember them...maybe they'll make a difference, and maybe they'll just make you laugh, but either way, enjoy life.
I can't wait to meet you son.
**Mow against the grain. I promise…it’ll look better that way.
**When going for a cold drink, keep this in mind…canned drinks on average are 3 degrees colder than bottled drinks.
**Don’t step in the shower with your socks on…it’s just ruin your day.
**If you are watching a drive in movie in a truck, bring along a chair…the ruts in your truck bed will leave you sore for a week.
**If you are watching a drive in movie in a car, clean your windshield first. That onscreen kiss will look a lot better without a dead fly smeared all over the actors faces.
**Diet Dr. Pepper does not taste anything like regular Dr. Pepper, so leave it on the shelf. You’ll be much happier with yourself if you do.
**Always keep your receipts. The one time you will throw away a receipt will be the one time you need to return something.
**Research big ticket items before you buy them. You can learn a lot from product reviews by customers and professionals, and in the end, it’ll be worth it as you will have an item you are happy with.
**If it’s just you eating supper alone, you probably don’t need the large pizza “just in case”. You could do with the medium and still have some left over for tomorrow.
**No matter where you are at, always try to find a good isle seat. It’ll save you lots of trouble and you will not make nearly as many people mad if you have to get up and “excuse yourself” in the middle of the game, show or sermon.
**If you are going to talk on the phone in public, just use the phone, not the earpiece. It makes you look like a doof who talks to invisible people and belongs in an asylum. With restraints. Just trying to help you out here.
**If you are quite sure that a person doesn’t know what they are talking about, don’t argue with them or try to correct them. It’ll only make it worse. Just say “uh huh” and move on.
**Knock before opening a closed door. Especially if it’s a bathroom door.
**Always make sure you have enough gas to get you where you are going. If you don’t have enough, don’t go. The side of the road is not a fun place to be. Especially after dark.
**Don’t drink Mountain Dew right before you go to bed.
**If you go to rent a movie, don’t rent one you’ve never heard of. There are reasons you’ve never heard of those movies.
**The shortest lane at the grocery store will not always be the one to get you out the quickest.
**Never be the first person to volunteer in a group. You’ll only wind up with embarrassment.
**When deciding on a movie to watch, you can never, ever go wrong with a Die Hard movie.
**Never put your socks on in the dark. It doesn’t matter if they are both white. They will still end up not matching and being two different colors when you get to work.
**As old as the saying is, it is still true…nothing in life is free. Ever.
**If it’s too good to be true, it probably is. Move forward with extreme caution. You are more than likely about to get ripped off.
**An empty mailbox is a good mailbox.
**If you have a favorite shirt, don’t dry it in the dryer. Let it hang dry, otherwise your favorite shirt will shrink and have trouble fitting a midget. If you are looking for baby clothes however…
**Don't buy anything being sold over the phone.
**If you want to take a girl to a picnic on a date, make sure you don't take along food that needs cooked. (First hand experience there)
**Don't worry about the umbrella...it's much more fun to play in the rain, no matter how old you are.
**Don't go through the express lane if you have more than 15 items. If you do, everyone at the store will hate you. Even if they don't see you do it, they will know. Somehow. And hate you all the same.
**Let faster golfers play through. (If your like me, you'll have to)
**Don't go to the store on the 1st or the 15th of the month. Ever.
**Furthermore, don't go to the store until at least a month after Christmas. Those people are brutal.
**Speaking of Christmas, if you are looking for a Christmas movie to watch, you can never go wrong with Clark Griswold or Ralphie Parker.
**I'm leaving this space blank for anything else I might think of.
There you have it!! I've spent all day coming up with these "Philipisms" so jot them down, and remember them...maybe they'll make a difference, and maybe they'll just make you laugh, but either way, enjoy life.
I can't wait to meet you son.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Armstrongies
Okay, they come out at about this time every year and the wannabe's annoy the hec out of me. I call them the Lance Armstrongies. I'm sure you’ve seen them...they are bicycle riders. Now sure, bicycle riders are out year-round, but this is a different crop of riders if you will. Every year, you see a specific group of guys (and some gals) who don tight yellow or blue spandex jersey tops and tight spandex bike shorts and ride their bikes all around Gods creation, doing their best to look cool. It's just annoying. This "movement" if you will, only lasts about a month while the Tour De France is being ran and maybe a week or two after, but when they are out riding, I just want throw things at them. There is no point in it.
Now I know that some people actually participate in bicycle marathons and races locally, and that is one thing, but to see Joe six pack (Thanks Sarah) with his bald head and beer gut, wearing a spandex outfit, on a rail thin bike, is a bit much.
Furthermore, I would expect more from adults. I can understand children doing this...after all, what child doesn't want to immitate their childhood hero? It's what kids do. Hec, when I was young, I wanted to put on a football jersey, and go outside and act like I was Joe Montana. The problem here is, that we are talking about adults. You know what...if the Tour De France awakes some sort of "inner cyclist" in you, then fine...pull your old schwinn out of storage, air up the tires, and go on your merry way. But please...PLEASE do not feel the need to become a Lance Armstrongie and don a yellow or blue spandex top and tight spandex shorts. Leave the role playing to kids...I think it's great that you are a big fan, but please act your age...otherwise, you look like a dodo and trust me...nobody is buying your act.
Now I know that some people actually participate in bicycle marathons and races locally, and that is one thing, but to see Joe six pack (Thanks Sarah) with his bald head and beer gut, wearing a spandex outfit, on a rail thin bike, is a bit much.
Furthermore, I would expect more from adults. I can understand children doing this...after all, what child doesn't want to immitate their childhood hero? It's what kids do. Hec, when I was young, I wanted to put on a football jersey, and go outside and act like I was Joe Montana. The problem here is, that we are talking about adults. You know what...if the Tour De France awakes some sort of "inner cyclist" in you, then fine...pull your old schwinn out of storage, air up the tires, and go on your merry way. But please...PLEASE do not feel the need to become a Lance Armstrongie and don a yellow or blue spandex top and tight spandex shorts. Leave the role playing to kids...I think it's great that you are a big fan, but please act your age...otherwise, you look like a dodo and trust me...nobody is buying your act.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Blog-o-rama
Hello my friends!! It's been quite a while (46 days and counting I believe...thanks for noticing Carrie). Either way, I thought I'd give you all something to read...I know, I really need to get on here and write more. It seems like when I was busy all the time, I had a lot to write about, but now that I'm not as busy and I have more time to write, nothing comes to mind. Strange...
So I'm just going to have a "random thoughts" post here...a blog-o-rama of sorts and just leave my thoughts on some random things...all for your enjoyment of course.
*Michael Jackson...hate that the guy died, and hate that he is probably burning in hell right now, but what I hate the most is the fact that we are not going to be able to turn on the tv, radio or computer for weeks without hearing about it. Much like what happened when Anna Nicole Smith died. You see, when people such as Michael Jackson pass away, the media begin to treat them like they are gods. It's really quite sickening. They seem to get more press than people who actually matter and who actually have a positive impact on the world. I think of people like the Pope, Mother Theresa, certain past US presidents...all people who have left this world a better place that when they got here. It's a shame that the people who give so little to society, get so much attention when they pass, compared the the people who give so much back. It's just a sad state of affairs, and unfortunately it's what our country has turned into.
*Lucky...So I finished mowing the yard Wednesday night and when I looked down, I realized I had mowed over a tiny baby bunny. He was about half the size of the palm of my hand. The most adorable thing I'd ever seen. I couldn't find a rabbit hole, or it's mother, so I took it in, and I am currently trying my best to raise the little guy to be a good, responsible adult rabbit...lol! Since Wednesday night, I have been bottle feeding the little guy and hoping he makes it. He seems ok at this point so far, but I've only had him for 3 days. From what I hear, most of the time, these little ones rarely make it away from their mother longer than a week, but I'm hoping to beat the odds with the little guy. He's a pretty cool bunny...likes to sniff and explore...still hasn't gotten the whole "hopping" thing down yet, but he's working on it. Wish him luck and good health!!
*Baby Parker...Olivia and baby are doing well!! Just getting ready to hit tri-mester #3! We have a Dr. appt. on July 1st and then just 3 short months till the little guy arrives. If you haven't heard it yet, we have decided on a name for the little guy. We've decided on Kyden Isaiah...we both fell in love with the name and we hope you all do as well. For some reason, though, everyone seems to think it's pronounced "Kayden", but it's not. It's Kyden...as in Ki-den. We are super thrilled about him and can't wait to meet him. Olivia has a web site set up where she updates her and the babies status and there is also a cool guest book you can sign...you should check it out!! The URL is: http://www.babysites.com/sites/littleguyparker/?seq=1
*Jon and Kate...if any of you continue to watch and/or support that show, shame on you. A sad example of the exploitation of children. The only people I feel for is the kids and it's sad to know that they will grow grow up no doubt being scared for life...it's more than enough that they have to have parents who don't love one another, but these kids are also having to live out this nightmare on telivision in front of millions. It's sad that these parents are making fame and fortune more of a priority than their own children.
Well, that about does it for now...out of time...I know I keep putton off my blog, but hopefully I can update it more often. I'm gonna make it a goal to update once a week...keep checking back and I look forward to your comments!! God bless!!
So I'm just going to have a "random thoughts" post here...a blog-o-rama of sorts and just leave my thoughts on some random things...all for your enjoyment of course.
*Michael Jackson...hate that the guy died, and hate that he is probably burning in hell right now, but what I hate the most is the fact that we are not going to be able to turn on the tv, radio or computer for weeks without hearing about it. Much like what happened when Anna Nicole Smith died. You see, when people such as Michael Jackson pass away, the media begin to treat them like they are gods. It's really quite sickening. They seem to get more press than people who actually matter and who actually have a positive impact on the world. I think of people like the Pope, Mother Theresa, certain past US presidents...all people who have left this world a better place that when they got here. It's a shame that the people who give so little to society, get so much attention when they pass, compared the the people who give so much back. It's just a sad state of affairs, and unfortunately it's what our country has turned into.
*Lucky...So I finished mowing the yard Wednesday night and when I looked down, I realized I had mowed over a tiny baby bunny. He was about half the size of the palm of my hand. The most adorable thing I'd ever seen. I couldn't find a rabbit hole, or it's mother, so I took it in, and I am currently trying my best to raise the little guy to be a good, responsible adult rabbit...lol! Since Wednesday night, I have been bottle feeding the little guy and hoping he makes it. He seems ok at this point so far, but I've only had him for 3 days. From what I hear, most of the time, these little ones rarely make it away from their mother longer than a week, but I'm hoping to beat the odds with the little guy. He's a pretty cool bunny...likes to sniff and explore...still hasn't gotten the whole "hopping" thing down yet, but he's working on it. Wish him luck and good health!!
*Baby Parker...Olivia and baby are doing well!! Just getting ready to hit tri-mester #3! We have a Dr. appt. on July 1st and then just 3 short months till the little guy arrives. If you haven't heard it yet, we have decided on a name for the little guy. We've decided on Kyden Isaiah...we both fell in love with the name and we hope you all do as well. For some reason, though, everyone seems to think it's pronounced "Kayden", but it's not. It's Kyden...as in Ki-den. We are super thrilled about him and can't wait to meet him. Olivia has a web site set up where she updates her and the babies status and there is also a cool guest book you can sign...you should check it out!! The URL is: http://www.babysites.com/sites/littleguyparker/?seq=1
*Jon and Kate...if any of you continue to watch and/or support that show, shame on you. A sad example of the exploitation of children. The only people I feel for is the kids and it's sad to know that they will grow grow up no doubt being scared for life...it's more than enough that they have to have parents who don't love one another, but these kids are also having to live out this nightmare on telivision in front of millions. It's sad that these parents are making fame and fortune more of a priority than their own children.
Well, that about does it for now...out of time...I know I keep putton off my blog, but hopefully I can update it more often. I'm gonna make it a goal to update once a week...keep checking back and I look forward to your comments!! God bless!!
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